A lifetime's not too long to live as friends...

so the song goes anyway. At this time of year, I find my thoughts turn to friends. Christmas usually equals family, but New Year equals friends, for some reason. Maybe because in my young adulthood, new year celebrations were something I had more control over, and chose to spend with friends. Word arrived today that the funeral of a (not especially close, but still one nonetheless) friend is to take place tomorrow, and that has caused me to ponder anew  the power that is friendship.

I am blessed to have friends who put up with a lot. I am doubly blessed to have many friends who have endured much, one notable even going back to Primary School. Many date from secondary school and youth years. In my own case, transplanted from my home turf, the internet has been valuable in providing a reunion of sorts with many I hold dear. It's fascinating to try to work out what makes friendships tick. Why is it that we do not see certain people for years, but when we do, it's straight back into 'as if we've never been parted' mode?  Why do some friendships fall into the 'no explanations necessary' category, and others are hard work but very rewarding? I am further  convinced that certain friendships come into our lives for a limited period, meet needs of either or both parties, then move on, and knowing when to move on is an art in itelf, but that doesn't make those friendships any less valuable or lovingly remembered. The subject is intriuging, maybe more so because it isn't an exact science; it is unpredictable, fraught with danger, but when the concept works- so valuable, rewarding, and fulfilling.

There is one aspect of friendship on which I am rigid- that of betrayal, or loss of trust.By nature, I am probably too trusting; having been betrayed in my marriage, I am possibly too hard on disloyalty, but that's how it stands. A wise person said to me at one point in my marriage 'whilst I don't doubt you can and will work hard to repair things, the problem you have now is that the trust is gone- and without trust, what do you have?'  and, imho, think the same applies to friendship. Does friendship without trust relegate that friendship to that of  an acquaintance? Neitzsche said:  'I'm not upset that you lied to me- I'm upset that from now on, I can't believe you', which hits the nail on the head.  

There's another favourite quote which goes along the lines of 'A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked'. We're all slightly cracked, in different ways. At this time of year, my cup runneth o'er with gratitude for those friends who mop up the spills from my cracked shell, and stick me back together again to fight another day. Thank you, so much!

Predictable as always, here's the link to the song. Enjoy!