A lifetime's not too long to live as friends...

so the song goes anyway. At this time of year, I find my thoughts turn to friends. Christmas usually equals family, but New Year equals friends, for some reason. Maybe because in my young adulthood, new year celebrations were something I had more control over, and chose to spend with friends. Word arrived today that the funeral of a (not especially close, but still one nonetheless) friend is to take place tomorrow, and that has caused me to ponder anew  the power that is friendship.

I am blessed to have friends who put up with a lot. I am doubly blessed to have many friends who have endured much, one notable even going back to Primary School. Many date from secondary school and youth years. In my own case, transplanted from my home turf, the internet has been valuable in providing a reunion of sorts with many I hold dear. It's fascinating to try to work out what makes friendships tick. Why is it that we do not see certain people for years, but when we do, it's straight back into 'as if we've never been parted' mode?  Why do some friendships fall into the 'no explanations necessary' category, and others are hard work but very rewarding? I am further  convinced that certain friendships come into our lives for a limited period, meet needs of either or both parties, then move on, and knowing when to move on is an art in itelf, but that doesn't make those friendships any less valuable or lovingly remembered. The subject is intriuging, maybe more so because it isn't an exact science; it is unpredictable, fraught with danger, but when the concept works- so valuable, rewarding, and fulfilling.

There is one aspect of friendship on which I am rigid- that of betrayal, or loss of trust.By nature, I am probably too trusting; having been betrayed in my marriage, I am possibly too hard on disloyalty, but that's how it stands. A wise person said to me at one point in my marriage 'whilst I don't doubt you can and will work hard to repair things, the problem you have now is that the trust is gone- and without trust, what do you have?'  and, imho, think the same applies to friendship. Does friendship without trust relegate that friendship to that of  an acquaintance? Neitzsche said:  'I'm not upset that you lied to me- I'm upset that from now on, I can't believe you', which hits the nail on the head.  

There's another favourite quote which goes along the lines of 'A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked'. We're all slightly cracked, in different ways. At this time of year, my cup runneth o'er with gratitude for those friends who mop up the spills from my cracked shell, and stick me back together again to fight another day. Thank you, so much!

Predictable as always, here's the link to the song. Enjoy!

The art of being idle

Christmas is over, the sales began days ago in this credit- crunchy- recession- hit year, and a new year beckons. This is the time for year for resolutions, for pondering the past year, wondering what I could have done better, and working out how I can improve in the year ahead.

All those self help books say that you need a life plan; plan your work, work your plan, and everything comes right in the end. So every year I try that, buoyed up with expressions of goals and striving to do and be a better person, and every year someone else throws a spanner in the works to thwart me.

This year I have just one goal: consume less. By consume, I don't just mean what I personally eat (although that could do with some reduction after the festive period, but anyway). I mean all areas of life- do I need that article of clothing just because it's in a sale, or those shoes, or that bag?  can I get my act in gear sufficiently to remember to take the lifelong shopping bags to the supermarket, or my shopping trolley, instead of grabbing a handful of carrier bags? Why buy jars of sauces when I can make my own much cheaper?  Do I need the heating on full whenever I am home?  Walk away from the home improvements magazines and be grateful for that which I have instead of buying into a culture of dissatisfaction. Don't worry about the effects of the credit crunchy, because que sera anyway and it can't be helped.Stop beating myself up about the things I haven't been able to provide for my family, and take the time to enjoy that which I have- rejoice in their achievements, enjoy their company. Relax, take time to literally smell the flowers and the fresh air and kick the leaves and all those things I always tell myself I have no time to do. 

Give more, and consume less.

And indulge in 'creative idleness'. That appeals!

Happy New Year.

because it's that time of year....

no, not *that* time if year, we're not there yet! It's another 'that' time of year, a time of the year when a couple of my favourite musicians departed this mortal coil. So, because the other 'that' time of year means that we might forget, here's some links:

Kirsty MacColl 10 Oct 1959- 18 Dec 2000

a part of me always wanted to be Kirsty MacColl, I think. Talented, funny, comfortable in herself and in a good place in her life when she met a tragic end (see Justice for Kirsty Campaign). Many of her songs are on youtube; at this time of year her Christmas song with the Pogues gets much airplay. My favourite Kirsty song is the first I heard, 'They don't know'; ( 'I get a feeling when I look at you, wherever you go now I wanna be there too') my favourite Kirsty performance is in Billy Braggs' video for  'Sexuality'.

 Joe Strummer 21 Aug 1952- 22 Dec 2002

there's not much that can be added to the torrent of words written about this man. I still have all my Clash vinyl albums: a vivid memory is listening to the original Clash album, lent by a friend, sitting torn between disapproval of punk rock, and thrilling at the energy and the lyrics. It will come as no surprise that my favourite Clash song is 'London Calling'; back then, I lived by the river, and spiritually and emotionally, maybe, that's still the case. Favourite performance: 'Safe European Home' which starts at 2.16 into that link. It would have been the Rock Against Racism 1978 Victoria Park gig version of 'White Riot' had Jimmy Pursey not joined in and wrecked it, but that one is worth youtubing. However, whilst digging out this links for this entry, came across a live clip of  'Garage land',  from Oct 1977, with (imho) all time greatest Clash lyrics:

"I don't want to know about what the rich are doing

I don't want to go to where, where the rich are going

They think they're so clever

They think they're so right

but the truth is only known by guttersnipes".

if you can't judge a book by it's cover...

should you judge a person by their books? 

My 'library' (use the term loosely) is currently in my bedroom, for various reasons- pending redecoration of living room, but also because dearest daughter deemed the uneven multicoloured spines 'too untidy' (however the arrival of Pumpkin and all his stuff has rendered that argument obsolete). It's interesting though- the first thing visitors would do was  peruse the shelves, to see what sort of books I read, and presumably make some sort  of initial judgment on me based on that info, and I of course do the same when visiting others. (However it could be argued that discussion of reading material is also interesting conversation). Anyone visiting me just now would assume I never picked up a book in my life....whereas the opposite is pretty much true.

This is not an exact science- using libraries is more economical, eco friendly and supportive of community resources, thus preserving same from possible closure- so one could assume a person never read, whereas the books were all safely returned before the fine due date arose. I have friends who buy a book from charity shops, read and donate to another charity shop- avoiding clutter.

Anyhow that's the question I shall ponder today. The greater question of how far should we judge another at all, will have to wait until my brain resumes full functioning capacity :-)

Oliver Postgate

today the world is a poorer place for the loss of Oliver Postgate, by all accounts a man as kind and gentle as his voice indicated. For those of us who watched Pogles' Wood on Watch With Mother after dinner (as lunch was called in those days), Ivor The Engine or Noggin the Nog immediately before the news every night immediately prior to the News and teatime, his voice is one of the most comforting and reassuring on the planet. It takes me back to the days when life was simple- and children's tv progammes had some substance, and his stories were more substantial than most.

It has been interesting today to read of his lifestyle,beliefs and principles, and comforting to know that a voice I trusted as a child, remained steadfast and true to himelf.

on a sadder note, and watching and reading tributes today, I wonder what will happen come the (inevitable, but please long way off) day that Brian Cant leaves us. An entire generation will require therapy, and demand a day of mourning declared.


click on 'play intro'

http://www.pogleswood.org/

blogging at 5am

is what happens when you wake up at 4am with a raging sore throat, a temperature, a brain that won't switch off, and a general feeling of blah. Radio 4 is still broadcasting the world service, jolly folk that they are, but they're not John Humphrys or the rest of the Today programme bunch, it's cold but I'm too hot to put the heating on, I've knocked back so much echinacea and vitamin C that to consume more would be disastrous to my digestive system, and I feel broken. And I want to be better, and to feel better NOW!

I'm getting better at it, but, like Katy Carr in What Katy Did, patience is not one of my natural virtues.

So, to cheer self up, I went hunting for virtual fresh air and space and tranquility. Anyone want to come too?!

http://www.guardian.co.uk/travel/2008/dec/08/budget-hostels-uk-ireland

maybe one day...

many years ago now, too many to mention but enough to make her alarmingly prescient, a friend who was leaving for different climes gave me a goodbye card which contained a piece of artwork, which I still own. The paper was divided in two, diagonally, and one side had a 'conventional' scene- and the other was coloured black with fireworks and zingy zappy cartoony type symbols. Her written message encouraged me not to allow the conventional side of my character to suppress the less conventional. I considered myself diligently conventional, so thought she was wrong- but thanked her for the thought, and the time she had taken over my gift.



I realised this week she was right all along, and evidently understood me better than I did myself.



Three times this week I have been grocery shopping, this song has come on the various supermarket radio stations,and each time I looked around hopefully for someone else to "get it".

Maybe one day...

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=u2hYn_4yuhc